Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He? As in you personified your dick?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
