He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
