Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
