Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize