Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
