I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
