I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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