i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
