she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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