You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
