Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
