You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
