The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize