Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
