My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
