you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Everyone says I win the strip club
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
