My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
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