And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
