I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
