Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
