who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
