i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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