Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
