Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize