So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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