That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
