Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
