i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize