His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
