Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
