You're so nebulous sometimes
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
