I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize