I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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