I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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