I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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