went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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