its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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