wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize