I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
