Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
