Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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