I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
