I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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