maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
