Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
