Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my shit smells like andre
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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