So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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