Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
