I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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