The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize