Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
