You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can I color on your dick again?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
