she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The adults are the big ones right?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
