I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
