you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize