Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
