I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
