hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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