Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize