drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
