Do you still have your period?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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