I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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