Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
