Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
