...so i touched it.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
