I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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