Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
